I Am Grateful
As 2012 begins I am reflecting on the past year which had been a very personally challenging one for me, because it made me really look at my life, assess levels of importance on different aspects and prioritize for inner peace. It saw an end of a chapter for me both personally and professionally, so it is with this in mind that I want to acknowledge my gratitude for the learning journey I have taken during that period.
The chapter begins in 2005, when my youngest child was born. I knew that having an additional child would change the dynamics of my life, but I had no idea what lay ahead when Aspen entered this world. A little girl, that soon became the apple of not only her fathers eye, but also her brothers (although he would never admit that in public), and this was great because it allowed them to form strong bonds and great memories with each other. We found out from the doctors shortly after her birth that she had a heart murmur, just like the rest of us, and that she would probably grow out of it just like her brother did. She grew taller, got teeth, learnt to walk and talk, she even learnt how to feed herself and after fifteen months, I decided it was time for me to go back to teaching. So I had to consider where I wanted to be employed, and in the end I chose to take a path that I had earlier in my career sworn I would never walk. I began to seek employment with my state public education system. In 2006, I gained employment with Education Queensland, the public education system here in Queensland, Australia; and here the professional journey began. I began working in a Year 3 classroom, and after several other classes through the years it ended with me teaching Year 1 in 2011. During this period of time, I grew as a professional and person taking on new challenges and finding myself in unfamiliar situations and contexts.
In 2010 my youngest was suddenly diagnosed with a life threatening heart condition and needed immediate surgery. My life turned upside down, and suddenly I had to reassess everything. My little troll (as I affectionally call her) stomped her way through this with remarkable and admirable strength, amazing both her father and myself, not to mention the medical staff who said it was the quickest child recovery they had seen for a while. That is my girl! Tough as nuts! So now my life had been re-prioritised and my view for my future had changed. It went from working hard to be the best in my chosen field at all costs, to my children and family come first. I really took a long hard look at my life and what I wanted to achieve from it. What did I want to be able to say when I looked back on my life at the end? From going through this process, I realised that even though I want to be the best in my field, it meant nothing if I was not being the best “me” I could be. So I made changes. Instead of fighting to change others and reacting to their actions, I focused on opportunities I had to make not only myself a better person, but also opportunities I had to give back to the world of education, to make a difference in the profession I love. So in 2011 I finished a commitment I had made to my direct supervisor and then I resigned from public education. I did this because I could no longer settle for second best, making compromises only to find my moral purpose being eroded to become more like the one supported by the organisation.
During my time with Education Queensland I learnt many things and met some really inspiring and supportive people, and for this I am truly grateful. So what did I learn? I learnt that:
- arguing a point does not necessarily mean that others will see your point of view. It just means I will get emotionally wound up and waste my energy which could be better spent working towards change.
- being silent when conflict arises equates to supporting the loudest side (often the opposing view). I need to have my voice and opinions heard.
- trust is easily misplaced and loyalty is often misjudged. I need to be more emotionally resilient when my trust is broken and loyalty is not reciprocated.
- when looking for inspiration, support and mentoring, I need to look beyond my immediate circumstances. The world is bigger and has a great deal more to offer than what I see everyday.
- the effect of my efforts in advocating and practicing change can not be measured by reflecting on my own journey. Rather it is measured by how many others decide to use my forged path in their own journey of growth ( and knowing that I may not always know how many people decide this ).
- my drops of perspiration from the work I do, causes ripples in the field of education worldwide. Some I will learn about, others I will not.
There are many people along this pathway that helped me learn these lessons, some of them professional colleagues, some of them are friends and family; and some of them all all of the above. In particular the following people I am indebted to for helping me learn these lessons and clear the pathway on my learning journey over the past few years: Dr Brian Gray, Kate Maccoll, Shane Roberts, Vicki Ehlers, Adrian Bruce, Renata Herin, Darren Briggs and of course, my awesome family… Marc Ratcliffe, Broderick Ratcliffe (aka Boofhead) and Aspen Ratcliffe (my little troll). I am grateful for what all of you have done and continue to do to support me and guide me through life. It is with your continued support that I can focus on my learning journey ahead and forging a new pathway to make contributions and changes WITHINEducation.
